Sleep
Poor sleep is often the first sign that something else is under strain, and it makes everything else harder to manage. It is worth taking seriously in its own right.
This page is general information. Sleep difficulty can have medical causes — including sleep apnoea, thyroid conditions and medication side effects — which need a doctor rather than a counsellor. Where poor sleep is driven by anxiety or stress, that is something I do work with.
Common patterns
- Lying awake because the mind becomes active as soon as the lights go out
- Waking in the early hours and being unable to get back to sleep
- Sleeping long hours and still waking unrefreshed
- Dreading bedtime, which then makes sleep less likely
- Relying on the phone until you fall asleep with it
What tends to help
- A fixed waking time. The single most effective change, and more reliable than a fixed bedtime. Keep it even after a bad night.
- Getting out of bed if you are awake. After roughly twenty minutes, leave the bed and do something dull in low light. Lying there teaches the brain that bed is where you worry.
- A gap between screens and sleep. Not only the light — the content keeps the mind engaged when it needs to be winding down.
- Caffeine earlier than feels necessary. It has a long half-life; afternoon tea or coffee is still active at midnight.
- Writing tomorrow down. Putting the mental list on paper before bed gives the mind permission to stop rehearsing it.
When to seek support
If sleep problems have lasted more than a month, or you are falling asleep during the day, please see a doctor — some causes are physical and treatable.
Not sure where to start?
If you are unsure whether counselling is the right kind of help, you are welcome to ask. If something else would suit you better, I will say so.
If you need urgent help Counselling is not an emergency service. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, please contact your local emergency services, or call Tele-MANAS, the Government of India mental health helpline, on 14416 (available 24 hours).